Baby BLue
by livsgirl
Summary: "Why Lex?"  Olivia almost whispered.  "What wasn't I giving you?  Why did you need to look elsewhere?"  Alex and Olivia discuss the reasoning behind Alex wanting one night a week.
1. Chapter 1

Olivia walked in the bar and looked around. Good she said to herself she wasn't in this one. She hated nights like tonight. Tonight was Alex's night out on the town. They had been together for close to four years now when Alex came to her with the idea that one night a month they went out. Not together but separately. Hit the clubs, go on a date with other people. It's the one night a week they could sleep with another person and there could be no repercussions.

"Am I not enough for you? Do I know longer make you happy?" Olivia had asked when Alex came to her with the idea.

"You do Liv. More than you will ever know."

"Then why Alex?"

"I don't know really. It's something I want to do." Alex had told her with what looked like fear and uncertainty in those stone cold blue eyes. The blue eyes that warmed at the sight of Olivia.

"Baby if you want it you know you have. When do you want to start?"

"I was thinking next week."

"Fine" Was all Olivia could answer her. It was tearing her up inside to know that Alex needed other women to be happy. Guess I will never be enough.

Olivia walked to the bar and order a margarita. She sat there nursing it until she heard a song that peaked her interest. It was George Strait Baby Blue.

_She looked so much like a lady, but she was so much like a child_

_A devil when she held me close, an angel when she smiled._

_She always held it deep inside, but somehow I always knew_

_She'd go away when the grass turned green _

_and the sky turned baby blue_

How true Olivia thought to herself. Every word fit Alex to a tee. She always knew she would leave. What could a woman of her standing see in adown to earth detective who had to work hard for everything her whole life.

_Baby blue was the color of her eyes._

_Baby blue like the Colorado skies._

_Like a breath of spring she acme and left,_

_And I still don't know whySo here's to you and whoever holds my baby blue tonight_

Her eyes were so blue. That's what attracted Liv to her to begin with. Their color. She had never seen eyes that blue. Eyes that were so cold and hard one minute and warm and loving the next. She didn't get the title ice princess for nothing. I just pray that whoever holds her tonight doesn't hurt her.

_She brought colors to my life that my eyes had never touched_

_And when she taught me how to care, I never cared so much_

_I try not to think of her, but I fall asleep and do_

_And drift off to where the grass is green and the sky is baby blue._

Alex did bring color to Olivia's life. After a rough day she could go home and simply hold her and everything would be ok. There was no pushing to talk if Olivia didn't want to. She made Olivia believe that someone would want too be with her. Half her genes were alcoholic and the other was that of a rapist. She was so sure she would turn into either parent. Alex had shown her that she was neither.

_Baby blue was the color of her eyes._

_Baby blue like the Colorado skies._

_Like a breath of spring she acme and left,_

_And I still don't know whySo here's to you and whoever holds my baby blue tonight_

_Baby blue was the color of her eyes._

_Baby blue like the Colorado skies._

_Like a breath of spring she acme and left,_

_And I still don't know whySo here's to you and whoever holds my baby blue tonight_

Olivia raised her glass and sang along to the last line "So here's to you and whoever holds my baby blue tonight." Olivia brought her glass to her lips when she felt arms go around her waist and a familiar voice whisper in her ear

"I want you to hold me tonight and every night here after. I love you Olivia Benson and I only want to be with you."

Olivia turned in her seat and saw the blue eyes that she loved so much dark with desire, want and need. "Forever baby?"

"Forever"


	2. Chapter 2

Alex walked in and instantly her eyes was on her lover. No matter how crowded a room she could always find her instantly. They were connected. Heart, body and soul. She stood to the side in a dark corner watching her.

She had been nursing her drink for the last ten minutes. Alex was torn between walking right up to Olivia and telling her to screw their tone night a week rule or just letting it continue. Truth be told she despised nights like tonight. She usually spent it at Abbie Carmichael's apartment crying on the federal attorneys shoulders. It was at Abbie's insistence that she was standing where she was at that moment.

"Alexandra Cabot if you love her so much why did you suggest this?" Abbie had asked her.

"I saw how Olivia looked at another woman one night. That's when I realized I was her first and maybe she wanted to experience more."

"Did you both to talk to her about it or did you just jump to conclusions as always."

"Well she didn't exactly try to fight me on it now did she."

"Of course not woman. Olivia will give you what ever you want no matter what it would do to her."

"Damn it miss know it all. Why don't you tell me how to fix it?" Alex had asked starting to get irritated with Abbie.

"Simple call her. Meet her where ever she is at and confess everything."

"I have no clue where she is. I'm not sure she would answer my calls right now. You didn't see the look on her face when she left."

"Fine then I will call her." Abbie told her as she snapped her phone opened and dialed Olivia's number. After about a five minutes conversation and making Olivia promise they would get together on Saturday she hung the phone up.

"She is at The other side on fifth street." Abbie said pulling Alex to her feet and pushing her toward the door "Now get your little filly ass over there and stop this nonsense."

So now here Alex stood . Staring at the woman who had haunted her dreams for years. The woman who took a bullet for her. The very woman she wanted to marry and start a family with. The very woman whose heart she had broken a few weeks ago. She began praying that Olivia would forgive her.

Alex walked over to the DJ and asked him if he could play a song for her. He asked if there was a dedication to go with it and what song would she like. She politely informed him no the person it was for would know and the song was called _Baby Blue_ by George straight. He smiled at her sweetly and found the song.

Alex watched Olivia from the back of the dance floor. Thanks to the huge mirror she could see the play of emotions that went across Olivia's face. She could see the hurt, sadness and pain. It was written all over her face and in her eyes. Abbie was right Olivia didn't want this no more than she did. How the hell could she have been so blind and stupid she asked herself.

Which lead her to another train of questions. Where did she go on her night out? Who did she go to? Most importantly how could she have ever been so stupid to think Olivia ever wanted anyone else but her.

The song was coming near the end so Alex decided it was now or never. She walked quietly up behind Olivia. She was almost to her when Olivia raised her glass. She froze in her spot thinking she had been spotted. That was when she realized Olivia had her eyes closed.

"So here's to you and whoever holds my baby blue tonight." Olivia said as if she was giving a toast.

Olivia was about to take a drink when Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist and whispered in her ear

"I want you to hold me tonight and every night here after. I love you Olivia Benson and I only want to be with you."

Olivia turned in the seat never breaking contact with Alex. She could see the uncertainty in her eyes when she asked

"Forever baby?"

"Forever" Alex said with a smooth voice so thick with love and desire she knew there was no way Olivia could miss it**. **"Lets go home."

**A/N: I decided to extend this one shot to include Alex's point of view of the situation. To answer the question of why she did what she did. I hope everyone enjoyed it and as always reviews are welcomed.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Olivia watched Alex from the corner of her eye during the ride to their brownstone. Alex had reached over and took Olivia's hand in hers not long after they had entered the cab. That was the only closeness or touching Olivia was allowing. She made sure Alex stayed on her side of the cab, politely pushing Alex over when she tried to get closer. She could see the hurt in Alex's eyes when she did but there was questions Olivia needed, wanted, and demanded to be answered before she would allow anything to happen. No matter how bad her body ached for Alex.

Olivia paid for the cab and held the door open for Alex. She quietly followed Alex up the stairs and into their brownstone. Even though Alex tried to hide it she kept glancing back to make sure Olivia was still following her.

Olivia secured their front door and turned around only to be pinned to the door. Alex held an almost predatory look in her eyes when she locked eyes with Olivia. The look sent shivers down Olivia's spine and made her body ache even more for Alex's touch. It took all the strength and reserve that Olivia had to push Alex away and lead her to the table in the kitchen.

"Alex we need to talk before anything happens tonight." Olivia said as she pulled the chair out for her. "Would you like a drink?"

Alex looked at Olivia with tear filled eyes. "A glass of wine, please."

The look on Alex's face shattered Olivia's heart. She gently wiped the tears from Alex's eyes before whispering in her ear "We just need to talk. I love you."

Alex watched Olivia walk to the counter and pull a bottle of wine from the rack and open it. She trembled as the thought that she had truly destroyed what was between them crossed her mind. When Olivia turned to face her she plastered her best smile on her face and waited for the onslaught that was about to occur.

Olivia carried Alex's glass of wine and her bottle of beer back to the table and sat down. She began trying to peel the label off the bottle trying to avoid Alex's eyes.

"Why Lex?" Olivia almost whispered. "What wasn't I giving you? Why did you need to look elsewhere?"

Alex tried to swallow over the lump that was forming in her throat. "Olivia you have always given me what I needed in and out of the bedroom."

"Then WHY?" Olivia asked trying to keep her emotions under control when she raised her eyes to met Alex's.

The tears that Alex had tried so hard to keep at bay began to run down her cheek "I did it for you."

"For me? What was it you thought I needed that you wasn't giving me? Did you ever once stop to think about asking me what I wanted?"

"Liv" Alex choked out as she gently took Olivia's hand in hers praying she wouldn't jerk away. When she didn't she took it as a good sign. "I am the first woman you have ever been with. One night we were out and I saw how you looked at another woman."

"I people watch. It's part of being a cop. Being observant."

"I know but there was something different in your eyes when you saw her. That was when I started thinking that maybe you should go out and experience more."

"How about what I wanted?"

"I know you well enough to know that even if you wanted to date around you would never tell me to avoid hurting me."

"Alex."

"I didn't see you fighting me on it either."

"Why would I? It was something that you wanted. I have always tried my hardest to give you what you wanted."

Alex laughed "You know Abbie told me the same thing."

"Abbie? "

"Yes Abbie. I spent my nights and your nights with her. Usually crying on her shoulder. She had enough tonight. Sent me off to find you and stop this nonsense."

"You were never with other women?" Olivia asked with hope building in her.

"No." Alex told her as she stood and positioned herself in Olivia's lap "You are the only woman I want to be with. Forever and Always." She whispered before slowly kissing Olivia.

Olivia relaxed into the kiss. Alex didn't want anyone else or needed anything from anyone else.

"What about you?" Alex asked as she broke the kiss.

Olivia decided that since Alex had put her through this hell she was going to have a little fun "I thought you said no questions asked about what we did on our nights out?"

Alex pulled back and looked at Olivia. _Damn_ she thought to herself _She is using her *cop face* The one where I can't tell if she's joking or not. _

"So you were with other women?"

"Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't. Again I thought you said no questions asked." Olivia replied biting the inside of her mouth trying not to laugh at the look Alex had on her face.

"You right. I did say no questions asked." Alex whispered trying to keep the hurt out of her voice as she started to go back to her chair.

Olivia grabbed Alex by the waist and pulled her back into her lap. She turned Alex's face to hers and gently trailed her thumb down her cheek and then traced her lips with it.

"You are the only woman for me Alexandra Cabot. I have never been with another woman nor do I ever want to."

Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck "Really?"

Olivia smiled at her lover "Yes really. To answer your question. I spent my nights at Fin's."

"Oh that makes me feel better. He defines player. I'm afraid to ask if he tried to give you pointers."

Olivia laughed as she picked Alex up and started to carry her toward the bedroom.

"Only one pointer."

"I'm afraid to ask what was it?"

"Talk to you and stop this one night a week agreement. He said if I didn't do it soon he was going to do it for me."

"Smart man."

"I have to say the same about Abbie." Olivia whispered as she laid Alex on the bed and began to make love to the woman who stole her heart the day she was introduced to the squad.


End file.
